SI
(As most of you know, I have SI’ed in the past, and may well do in the future. I am not going to dress up any part of SI in this article, so if you find SI disturbing, read this only at your own discretion. Thanks.)
Self Injury, Self Harm, Cutting, Self Mutilation… Many many names for the same thing. The most accurate is the Self Injury (SI), so this is the term I shall use.
What is SI?
SI is deliberately injuring yourself, to help you cope with emotions or depression. I will come to why people do it later on. For now, I want to concentrate on what constitutes SI.
* Cutting
* Biting
* Scratching
* Burning (with flames, hot wax, cigarette stubs etc.)
* Hitting walls
* Punching
The list goes on. Any activity which causes physical pain to the sufferer.
Why SI?
So, why do people SI? It is primarily a coping mechanism, used by individuals under intense mental strain. There are in fact a few different reasons for SI, which can vary between sufferers. These include: A desire to make the mental pain that they are suffering into a physical pain, which will heal, and can be tended for; a way of expressing anger or frustration; a method to prove that they are still human (non-human’s wouldn’t bleed); and purely as a release to help deal with difficult problems. However, underlying all these reasons, is a scientific basis for why it makes us feel better.
The Science Bit
When the human body suffers an injury, our cells automatically release beta-endorphin (an opiate drug) into the blood stream to help . These chemicals produce a calm and relaxed feeling, which gives a temporary respite for the sufferer. For many people these breaks are a life line, allowing them to struggle onwards with life, and not commit suicide.
However, this is not to say that SI is absolutely fine, and that we should not worry about it. Addictions to beta-endorphin can occur, in which case the sufferer has to cause more serious damage to get the same effect. In other cases, people continue to SI whilst under the influence of the endorphins, which results in far more serious injuries than the suffer was planning.
And, obviously, I would much rather that no one felt bad enough to need SI, but people do need it, and I think the world needs to sit up, take notice, and accept it.
Common Misconceptions
In today’s society, there is a fairly large amount of stigma attached to having depression, but this is nothing in comparison to the hatred and misunderstanding aimed at those who SI.
They’re masochists
This is not true. People who SI feel pain, and it hurts. They do not enjoy the pain, and they certainly do not wish to be hurt by other people. However, most people who SI suffer from severe low self esteem, and may well believe that they deserve to be punished by others.
They’re dangerous – we should lock them up
People who SI are no more dangerous than any other humans. They do not wish harm on other people, and are often horrified at the idea that they would hurt another human.
It’s a suicide attempt
This is my personal pet hatred. A suicide attempt is exactly what SI is not. SI is a way of coping, a way of going on. Most sufferers find that if they are forced to stop SI, they become much more desperate to die.
It’s attention seeking
This one is a little more difficult – in some cases, there is an element of attention seeking in their behaviour. However, it is very very rarely the only element, and is usually a result of a larger problem in their lives. For most sufferers, SI is an extremely personal activity, and they do their very best to hide it from those around them.
These are by no means the only misconceptions that people have about SI. I have just tried to provide a representative sample.
So What?
Why am I telling you this? What am I hoping to achieve? Firstly, I am trying to promote an understanding of SI, it’s causes and it’s effects. And secondly, with that understanding, I hope to be able to give you some guidance on how to react to SI, whether it is a family member, friend, or even yourself who is experiencing it.
How do I help then?
The most fundamental part of helping someone who is suffering with SI, is support. Let them know that you understand, and try to find out what the root cause for the SI is. This is where you can really help – if it’s depression, try to get them to seek some help.
Another very easy but helpful step, is to make sure that they are being hygienic in their practices. Make sure they wash their blades/whatever at least once every couple of days, and that they are dressing the wounds properly. Let them know that if they need stitches etc, that you’ll support them at the hospital.
So what are the complete no no’s? Do not ever condemn a person for SI. It is their way of coping. If you condemn SI, you condemn everyone who has ever used it. Also, never, ever force a person to stop using SI. The simplest reason is that it’s physically impossible to stop someone. If you take away everything sharp, cut their fingernails, and put them in hospital, they can still hit their head on walls, bite their lips, give themselves Chinese burns… and so the list continues. Another good reason is that in a large proportion of cases, if someone is forced to stop using SI, they become significantly more suicidal. However, if someone has been treated for the underlying cause, and comes to you for help to stop using SI, then that is when all your concern for their wellbeing will help them.
So you’re saying that SI is a good thing?!?
No, I am not. Obviously, I would much much rather that there was no one in this world who was hurting so bad as to need SI. But this is an unrealistic wish. Depression is a fact of life, and we have to learn to deal with it.
My personal belief is that SI is a much better option than the alternatives. For example, SI is a lot healthier as a reaction to hurt than is suicide. So long as the SI is under control and not dangerous, I believe that it is to be supported, not ridiculed.
So if I do not consider SI to be dangerous, what is? When SI becomes out of control, that is a danger. In this situation, the sufferer continues to SI once they have the effects of the endorphins in their blood stream. This can result in the cuts being deeper or larger than intended. Also, if the SI is actually a suicide attempt, and not true SI, then this is obviously dangerous.
If anyone has any questions arising from this entry, please feel free to e-mail 